New Favorite Pinball

Posted on February 18, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

I didn’t mean to overachieve tonight by playing two games vs. my obligatory one game. But I realized I had one more eGames title in my pile that was apparently not in MobyGames. A more careful dig into the database reveals that, in fact, eGames’ Pinball is already there. It’s just really difficult to find when it’s named something as generic as “pinball”. Memo to game companies: Try to distinguish your pinball titles a little better; same goes for typical sporting activities like football, baseball, etc.

This pinball game is not, I hasten to add, a Visual Basic game. The Conducent TimeSink tsad.dll spyware is back; who’s surprised? Also, this installation dialog strikes me as suspicious on several levels:

eGames Pinball -- Would You Like To Be Able To Surf The Internet

All of that nonsense notwithstanding, I think I might actually have a new favorite computer pinball game. This game has 3 unique table designs to choose from: Jungle Warrior, Curse of the Pharoah, and Viking’s Life. The game can run in 1024×768 mode with all manner of cool graphical effects. Further, the player can select from 5 different camera views which, unlike in Hot Wired, are all actually practical for gameplay. This is my favorite:

So, I guess what I’m trying to say here is that eGames can indeed attach their name to a decent, working game if they really try, even if they can’t unbundle the spyware without intervention from state attorneys general.

Speedy Eggbert

Posted on February 18, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

Speedy Eggbert is a title missing from MobyGames that caught my eye while perusing my big list recently. So I pull it out and, much to my chagrin, realize that it’s another accursed eGames title. Maybe today’s gaming excursion will be quick since I have such a dismal record with eGames titles thus far. Will I be 0 for 3, with a generous helping of spyware to show for it? Let’s find out.

I ran my spyware checker, installed the game, and then ran my spyware checker immediately afterwards. That same Conducent TimeSink tsad.dll file somehow found its way onto my machine between the two spyware check runs. I’m not exactly endeared when I see splash dialogs like this (read the small print carefully and note the relative sizes of the buttons):

eGames software -- Would you like to install our spyware?

I did some Googling for “egames spyware” and found that the state of Michigan actually did go after eGames for their spyware-related activities. Sometime in 2001, they said they would stop. This game predates said agreement. But I need to keep the DLL installed long enough to play the game. I take small comfort in the knowledge that the spyware was developed long before my web browser (Firefox) and hopefully doesn’t know how to investigate its information. Then again, Firefox’s on-disk data structures and file locations might be similar to earlier Netscape versions.

I next delve into the manual since I reason that this might be the only exposure I get to the game. It’s is allegedly a side-scrolling action game. These eGames titles always sound like such delightful, simplistic little romps that I actually would like to experience. Much to my surprise, this eGames game actually runs!

I can attest that we have an actual game here, and quite a lot of game, I should add. Speedy Eggbert is a side scrolling game, and parallax no less, which I always love — takes me back to the old SNES/Genesis days. It’s incredibly simplistic as far as these types of games go, and that fits right into my plan. Our hero — who, indeed, happens to be egg-shaped — wanders through countless colorful stages. He can walk left or right in well-animated motions, though the transition between the 2 directions is the slowest I have yet seen in any such game. He can duck and look down at the same time, or look up. Being able to scan up and down is remarkably useful in this game for locating unseen threats. But his real power is his vertical leap. There are two control buttons: one for short jump and the other for high jump. The challenge comes in knowing when to use which, and where, and keeping the two buttons straight.

There is a brief tutorial stage in a forest. After this, you unlock most of the areas in the game via a macro-level map. There are dozens of total levels and you don’t need to explore them in sequence. This is the first level that you can choose from– I call it “Housing Projects”:

Notice the presence of Lego-influenced trees. Playing this game made me realize something about game plots. While the backstory of a computer game is often the subject of ridicule, it’s somehow strangely necessary. All throughout Speedy Eggbert I found myself wondering what was going on and why our protaganist was doing this. I have no idea what the houses in the above level are for, why the surrounding area is mined, or what Eggbert hopes to achieve. I just know that the above screenshot depicts where I got stuck on that particular level since he can’t jump quite that high. No matter; there are plenty more to choose from.

Another area looks like you’re infiltrating a techno-fortress in outer space. This is sort of a make-your-own-backstory game. The first section has you jumping from platform to platform. I found myself wondering what would happen if you fell off a platform in space– fall forever? No, it turns out that there is space lava just beneath the platforms which hard boils our hero. Another stage is yet another techno-fortress which happens to be substantially bluer than the previous. Then we get into some real eye candy– I named this level “The Happy Fun Candyland of Suffering”:

Speedy Eggbert -- The Happy Fun Candyland of Suffering

Bright, colorful, playful, and full of unspeakable danger. In the above screenshot, Eggbert has eaten a lollipop powerup. The simple sugars give him a temporary rush which increases his jumping ability, enabling him to reach this platform with a selection of skateboards. A skateboard allows the player to cruise through a narrow hallway lined with bombs. The skateboard will detonate the bombs without hurting Eggbert. This application further serves to highlight defects in the game’s internal logic, but oh well.

I’m not sure if I like this next level or not. I call it “Glyphland” and I could assert that either A) it’s highly creative; or B) that the designers were getting extremely tired and/or lazy and just threw something together to meet some artificial deadline or goal.

That’s not all, though! The game features networked multiplayer via modem, serial cable, IPX, or TCP/IP. I have no idea what the multiplayer mode entails since the manual did not go into details, and it’s extraordinarily unlikely that I could convince someone else to try this game. Another interesting value add is that the game comes with a complete level designer, likely the same one that the creators used to build the game. Create your own mission by selecting background, scroll type, and music (10 tunes to choose from), and get to work laying down the level. This menu gives you a good idea of the various items and threats that are possible in the game if you didn’t get too far into any particular level.

Technically, Speedy Eggbert is written in Visual Basic, just as all eGames titles appear to be (at least the 3 I have seen so far). All of its data files have the extension .blp. Inside, they are actually a mixture of WAV files for sound, BMP files for graphics, and MIDI files for music (I actually sort of dig the music and can save these before I blow away the spyware-laden game). Then, there is a custom, constant-sized data format, about 50 KB each, which defines a level layout. An interested hacker could probably figure out the data format pretty easily using the level designer.

Creatures Adventures Revisited

Posted on February 17, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

Instead of looking at a new game today, I decided to revisit Creatures Adventures since I certainly didn’t get a good feel for the game the first time around and I didn’t discover the on-disk manual until after I had written the blog post. In order to create a quality MobyGames entry, I would like to gather a little more first-hand experience with the game. Plus, after reading the manual and gaining a mild understanding of what’s going on, the game actually sounds interesting. Further, I think the graphics are nothing short of phenomenal and a sheer joy to watch.

On my first play, I got the distinct impression that the objective of the game was to observe little baby monsters called norns and manually interact with their surroundings using the mouse. There is so much more. The game’s manual claims that the game engine models actual biological processes and that the norns come with their own biochemistry, brains and “Digital DNA^TM” (which is a trademark that I thought Motorola claimed). In fact, reading through the complexity described in the manual makes it hard to believe that this game is designed with children in mind. But the parents’ control dialog described in the previous post remains substantial evidence of the target audience. The manual must be intended for the parents so that they might be able to explain everything to the young ones.

To review, you begin the game in the nestery where you can hatch an egg by placing it in the cradle. You can accept the default name or enter a different one.

Creatures Adventures -- Hatching In The Nestery

From there, the game becomes an exercise in caring for your your norn by feeding it, clothing it, and keeping it out of obvious danger. There is training and discipline involved. Remember the jet horn and mosquito icons discussed in the last post? It turns out that those are for punishment and reward, respectively. The mosquito is actually a stickler that tickles the norn, which the norn likes. Contrast this with a blast of water to the face via the jet. The norns are supposed to learn the right lessons from this treatment but the manual warns you not to overdo either.

So the norns walk around and explore the world as they see fit, unless you grab their hand using the mouse and drag them in the opposite direction. They partake of the plentiful bounty that abounds from the land. Thankfully, it appears that the norns metabolize everything they take into their bodies. Wait, I may be wrong– the norns are consistently seen squatting, an action which sometimes results in brown spots which can then be picked up. I can’t imagine what I would do with these in the context of the game if I were correct about what they are.

I decided that an interesting test of any simulation game would be to see what happens if you don’t offer any input for an extended period of time; just leave the critters to their own devices in this case. With that in mind, I leave the game running and go off to watch some old Amiga demos from MindCandy Volume 2. Here’s what happens: They get sick! The manual warned that norns can get sick but I didn’t realize that the attention-hungry little monkey creatures would actually fall ill if ignored. Talk about Attention Deficit Disorder!

Creatures Adventures -- Sick Norn (Attention Deficit Disorder)

So I’m trying to to watch the Demo DVD and eat lunch but that turns out to be difficult because I can still see my computer monitor out of the corner of my eye which shows me the above scene. The green-faced norn keeps bending over in a virtual heave. Fine, I’ll go do something about it. Apply the stethoscope and thermometer to the norn standing at the medical carriage to validate that there is something very wrong with her. Then take her hand and drag her into the magic doctor booth. That’s really all it takes. Until they get sick again a few minutes later after I have returned to my lunch.

Notice that the norns are all grown up now. The manual says that you will get to witness the whole norn life cycle and that the repugnant creatures will pair off, mate, and procreate. Then they will die. Not a violent death. There comes a point in the game when a norn is apparently just sleeping for a really long time. When you click on their overhead bubble icon you will be transported to the garden where there will be a new tombstone.

Creatures Adventures -- Death Comes For The Norns

Winter comes for the norns. They lived full lives busy with exploration of the 1/2 kilometer immediately surrounding their birthplace. May they rest in peace. Following this, there are new eggs in the hatchery. It is unknown whether they are eggs from Chloe, matriarch of the previous round.

See also:

My first attempt at understanding this game

At MobyGames:

Creatures Adventures

Cheerios Play Time

Posted on February 16, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

This is not a good game to play before breakfast — and I should know — Cheerios Play Time. Or maybe it’s the perfect game to play, I don’t know. I do know that I was starving while playing through this breakfast cereal-themed kids game. The MobyGames entry for this game lists this as an educational title. I’m hesitant to categorize it as such. It teaches a child how to pour cereal and milk into a bowl and that’s about the extent of the knowledge imparted.

This is the main activity selection menu for the game, highlighting the 5 activities to choose from. There is absolutely no text in the game save for “Cheerios” so the game chats incessantly at you, telling you what to do next. I tell you, this game treats me like I’m about 4 years old. Oh, wait…

One activity is the Cheerios factory. This is a magical journey through the cereal engineering process. The whole operation reminds me of one of those silly Bugs Bunny/Looney Toons wacky machine sequences. These two machines are responsible for lovingly sealing and efficiently painting cereal the box after the Cheerios have been mixed, formed, baked, and inserted. All very educational, as you can imagine. The interactivity pertains to clicking on levers to actuate the various machines.

Another activity is painting. You can choose between a bunch of the scenes from the game. Then you match items from the sidebar and choose a color to paint it. I guess you could claim that this item exercises shape-matching skills. And I always wanted a green cat.

The game won’t let me into the area where I can play with farm animals. Off limits. It locks up every time. Probably just as well. Another farm-related activity is tending to a field. First plow it, then plant it, water it and watch oats grow, then harvest and bundle the oats. But you’re not done yet. You have to transport the oats to the factory. But the truck is broken down, and filthy to boot. Wash the car, soap it up, dry it, inflate the tires, and use the crane to pack the oats on the truck bed.

The final activity places you in the kitchen. There’s no real goal here that I could find. Rather, you just interact with the scene by pouring cereal and milk into a bowl, toasting bread, squeezing oranges into fresh juice, peering in the silverware drawers, opening the fridge, turning on the faucet, and of course, poking at the cat to cause him to eat from his bowl.

Cheerios Play Time was developed by a now-defunct group called Hyperspace Cowgirls. Yeehaw, and far out. What I like best about this group is their logo animation which shall be preserved for all time thanks to YouTube:

Psychotron And Co.

Posted on February 15, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

There’s one more Windows-based interactive movie on my list that I have neglected up to this point: Psychotron. To be fair, it’s actually just a demo that came on a disc with several other demos and 2 full games published by the same company (Merit Software). I vividly remember when I first picked up this title along with 19 others. I perused the multimedia on the CD-ROM, as is my custom. This demo had a number of Cinepak-encoded AVI videos. Videos that are pretty much on the bottom rung of all FMV I have experienced. Seriously, watching this junk almost made me snap and scrap this entire multimedia hobby if it meant I wouldn’t have to watch this kind of nonsense ever again.

How bad is it? First, the tracking lines. Yes, tracking lines. If I were to piece together their game-making process, I would have to assume that they filmed their actors with a tape-based videocamera and then replayed the video in a VCR hooked up to digital capture equipment. They most likely cued the tape in the right place, paused, started the capture gear, and unpaused the VCR. Thus, most videos seem to start with tracking bars.

Then there’s the actual content of the videos. The demo included scenes where you’re trying to get information from a mega-geek in a cemetary and from some mobsters at their poker game. Now, I have to admit that I’m an extremely poor judge of the acting craft. Generally, I can only spot bad acting if it’s really bad, especially wooden acting. These people play their characters as the most extreme stereotypes imaginable for nerds and Italian gangsters. I have edited together 7 videos (first 2 are the geek, last 5 are at the mobsters’ poker table) for your review:

Good acting? Bad acting? Overacting? Like I say, I’m no expert. But I’m not sure if I believe certain whiplash transitions like when the head mobster’s frustration turns to a calm resolve to cap you.

The Psychotron demo is a Windows app (MobyGames reports a DOS version but this demo is for Windows). It doesn’t work in native XP or Windows 95/VMware. Color me surprised. It looks like I will need to find a way to install Windows 3.1 (either on a real machine, via VMware, or through DOSBox) sooner or later to handle a number of games. I would still like to get a glimpse of how this game actually plays. I think this would be a great candidate for my I-movie engine re-implementation brainstorm, especially when I studied the directory structure and found dozens of straight text files that are shown in the game. Simple data structure; that’s what I’m guessing. From a spot check of some of the text files, I learned that the president of the United States in this game’s universe is Richard Marx.

I want to play some new game this evening. There is plenty to choose from on the disc. Here’s the menu:

Selection Menu for a bunch of Merit-published titles

I think I’ll check out that DOS-based full Blade Warrior game. Err, no I won’t. It crashes DOSBox (0.65). For giggles, I tried it in the WinXP command prompt. “Program too big to fit in memory.”

Let’s check out the demo for Isle Of The Dead. This works quite a bit better. The game is from 1993 and is sort of a one-off of Wolfenstein 3D. Your plane crash-landed on an island that happens to be infested with zombies. Explore around the island’s perimeter which is quite safe. Pick up your basic items (health, shotgun & shells, coconuts). You’ll get stuck pretty quick if you don’t use your machete to find just the right spot on the wall of vegetation in order to break through to where the real action is. The deadly action. The deadly, undead action. The nearly impossible-to-get-2-meters-into-the-jungle deadly undead action. One moment, you’re looking at this:

Isle Of The Dead -- Facing off with a zombie

The next moment, the zombie gang is tearing you to pieces (FMV! Flic files):

Okay, I’m pleased to say that I actually played a game today. So this is just the demo of Isle Of The Dead. According to this old review of the game, the full version cost $70! That’s not Canadian dollars, either– 214 is in Texas.

Gender Wars

Posted on February 14, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

Gender Wars is another game that doesn’t strictly need any MobyGames data from me. But it’s a game I haven’t yet experienced. And what game could be more appropriate on Valentine’s Day? This is another game from the eBay 50-lot grab bag and came with no manual when I received it.

Executing the game launches into what is intended to be an academic point/counterpoint historical discussion about how the great Gender War flared. It quickly devolves into escalating barbs between the male and female historians. Drink it all in:

At its core, Gender Wars is an isometric perspective strategy action game. Your mission is to assemble a team of suitable soldiers for a variety of missions, sometimes bloody, sometimes sneaky. You have a selection of team leaders and soldiers from which to build your team of 4. Various soldiers are rated differently in 4 different attributes which is supposed to make some soldiers more suited for certain missions than others.

Mostly, the game is an excuse to exchange ruthless, equally sexist barbs at both genders. Here is a shot from the FMV sequence when the men approach their drop point. One is drunk and can’t offer much-needed assistance in landing the craft:

Here is the first mission briefing for the mens’ side. I retyped it because the screenshot was tiny and indecipherable:

Right lads, Coach (The Patriarch unless you’d forgotten who THAT was) has got in mind a little mission for us. It’s our job to stealthily infiltrate the female city and cause as much destruction and mayhem as is manly possible.

This will be the start of a cunning scheme to once and for all overthrow the Matriarch and her evil harlots.

Our target is their egg-shed. They reckon it’s well guarded but one of our lads could get through wearing only a pair of boxer shorts and armed with a can of beer. Once you’re inside grab the storage tubes and kill any women you see. The supplies you need are in repro-tower B but if you accidentally go to the wrong one and lots of women should accidentally die because you accidentally riddled them with laser bolts, I’m sure the Coach will understand that you were confused and misguided by the emotional effects of war. Our Boss knows the score. Remember, body count up, female population down.

As you might be able to guess, I’m just trying to fill up space here. I didn’t play the game too long. I had trouble figuring it out. Plus, real time strategy is another genre that I have never gotten into. I’m pretty sure that’s what this game is. It’s hard to gauge since I don’t have much of a reference point. Please correct me if I’m wrong. Here’s an action screenshot depicting the manly men invading a female lounge area:

You lead your team around the base, through series of elevators and corridors and lounge areas on your way to the mission goal. Kill any women you see. A lot of games where I control just one entity confuse me. These games where I am expected to control multiple entities in real time are always beyond my grasp. You can issue orders such as “fire at will” or “wait for my signal”. Plus, the character you are presently controlling only fires when you indicate; the others are operated on some limited AI. When I enter a new room, the other soldiers may or may not follow. This game reminds me a lot of Powermonger — the virtual cat herding simulator — in this regard.

I’m just thankful that there was an instructional text file on the CD-ROM. This isn’t exactly a point & click interactive movie (though I do like the FMV on offer). I didn’t quite understand this segment of the keyboard quick reference. Is there a range of keys between PgUp and PgDn on some keyboards?

 PAGE UP  - Fire at Will - soldiers fire at anything that moves
            On my Signal - soldiers only start shooting when you do
            Defence Only - soldiers shoot when they are attacked
 PAGE DN  - Fall Back    - soldiers retreat and `fall-in' behind you

What kind of fun do the ladies have in Gender Wars? I’ll end with the briefing for the first female-on-male mission:

As the Matriarch lays down her plans to annihilate the Patriarch’s interbred forces, we have been blessed with the task of gathering information about their so-called Military Corps.

The Communications Sector is the backbone of all the city’s information exchange. If we access their computer terminals we can insert listening programs that will send copies of all their communications to our base. The squad should be kept small for this mission, to minimise the chance of alerting the enemy to your presence.

You will be given four encrypted cards, each of which must be placed in a different terminal. You only need to insert one card to complete the mission, but if you insert others our listening system will be more secure. Some of the messages that we will receive are certain to be encrypted so try to get your hands on a decoding card. Unfortunately you will have to kill one of the senior staff to get one. Oh dear, what a pity.

Once the mission is complete return to the pickup point for your triumphant return home.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours.

See Also:

The Lawnmower Man, also developed by SCi