Cribbage Vixens

Posted on December 30, 2008 by Multimedia Mike

I know I vowed not to procure anymore games until I made a significant dent in my existing unentered stock. But really, how often do I find myself in the public library in Marina Del Rey, CA browsing a Friends of the Library merchandise section with the opportunity to buy a CD-ROM for a dollar? Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be too hyped about cribbage, a game with which I have absolutely no familiarity. But Cribbage Quest caught my eye because it comes from ZEMNOTT, the creators of My Fantasy Wedding. So I guess what I’m saying is that I laid down the dollar so that this obscure game company could have better coverage in MobyGames. Because that’s what I’m all about.

So I thought I would make that my year-end game. Guess again. Cribbage Quest is very non-functional on my system. All I get are a series of graphically-glitched screens. I think the thing is written all in Flash 6, too:

At least I learned a little about the game of cribbage since I felt it prudent to do a little Wikipedia research on the matter. I figured the game would at least feature some kind of tutorial but that turned out not to be the case. The title screen only presents the player with story mode and adventure mode.

After I broke down on my little vacation and bought that dollar CD-ROM, I really fell off the wagon and returned to my favorite thrift shop. In my absence, they managed to accumulate an alarming number of games that MobyGames and I have never seen. The most curious disc I picked up just had some feminine silhouettes along with the print: “The Longer Lasting Axe / V.I.X.E.N.S.: Very Interactive Xtremely Entertaining Naughty Supermodels”. I had no idea if it was a game (“interactive” is promising) but I had no shame in purchasing it in the same stack as 2 more Barbie games.

When I popped in the disc, some Axe brand body spray wanders across the screen, transparent against my desktop. Then Naomi (“do you know what ‘Naomi’ is backwards?”), apparently my hostess for this experience, describes how women will start appearing randomly, like this one doing some gymnastics on the water of my desktop wallpaper:

The Axe Effect: V.I.X.E.N.S. Introduction

So I install V.I.X.E.N.S., hoping to find some kind of gaming content. But I’m pretty sure it’s not there. Long story short, this seems to be a viral effort from the folks at Axe. When you install the largely Flash-based program/background service, the program trains itself on your voice using the following romantic passage:

The Axe Effect: V.I.X.E.N.S.; speech recognition training

The upshot is that you are supposed to be able to speak various trigger phrases and see hot women show up at your beckoning right on your computer desktop.

Since I lack a microphone, I was unable to receive the full experience. However, if you would like to try it for yourself, the V.I.X.E.N.S. program is still freely available for download from the original, official site (about 340 MB); clearly, they also distributed it as a CD-ROM, probably through select periodical publications. Even though V.I.X.E.N.S. is apparently a background service, Spybot Search & Destroy thankfully does not peg it as any kind of spyware/malware.

See also:

My thorough coverage of My Fantasy Wedding, also from ZEMNOTT
Cribbage Quest Archived at Internet Archive

Negative Progress; Alanna

Posted on November 30, 2008 by Multimedia Mike

I remember when I first set out on this Gaming Pathology journey. According to my master spreadsheet at the time, I had around 80 games in my collection that were not in the database. My MobyGames records state that I contributed 106 games in 2007 and 30 games so far in 2008. Yet, my spreadsheet currently reports that I possess around 110 unentered games. Therefore, I recently resolved to not purchase anymore games until I have made a significant dent in the unentered games in my stock. And then there’s all the screenshot recon to be done!

So I have been reorganizing my computers recently. Most notably, I have decommissioned my Windows XP machine that was my central hub for this Gaming Pathology experiment. In its place, I have created a Windows XP VMware session on my Mac Mini. VMware Fusion for the Mac is supposed to have some nifty features for emulating DirectX so that gaming in a virtual computer won’t be such a drag. However, the virtualization program was quick to tell me that my budget-minded Mac Mini, with its economy class Intel graphics chipset, does not necessarily support all the latest and greatest features.

Somehow, I don’t think that this will be much of a problem given the types of games I often play, the bulk of which seem to be based on Macromedia Director. In fact, I thought I would eschew covering a new game for the time being and try one that I have been wanting to play for awhile: The Lost Island of Alanna, a Cherry Coke promotional game.

Unfortunately, as a result of my recent attempt at a full-on Mac conversion, I am still at a loss with regards to a decent graphics workflow. At the same time, I am also fighting with the newer image capabilities of the WordPress blogging software driving this site. Please accept this single screenshot that highlights what happens when running this 1998 vintage title on Windows XP without setting the compatibility mode to Windows 95:

X, not marking the spot in this cola-themed adventure

X, not marking the spot in the cola-themed adventure

As mentioned, this game came out in 1998. I was excited to snatch this up for cheap on eBay, even though the game has a decent entry already (refer to said entry for better screenshots, which do not vary significantly from the ones I could post). I should have read the MobyGames entry a little more thoroughly. It seems that this game was heavily dependent on materials available at a now-defunct cherrycoke.com URL. I can certify that the game’s eponymous island is pretty much impenetrable without the clues on that website. The Wayback Machine doesn’t help much since I can’t find any front pages for the site that mention Alanna.

Again, though, I should have done a little more homework before my purchase, for there is a complete walkthrough available, listed through MobyGames. Not only that, but the walkthrough author saw fit to post an entire copy of the game at the top of the walkthrough. So, by all means, download it and give it a whirl, especially if you thought Myst was an unparalleled masterpiece.

While the walkthrough reveals every single detail needed to complete Alanna, it also contains a specific deep link into the old Cherry Coke website. This is invaluable for web forensics via the aforementioned Wayback Machine and thus I was able to locate the original online companion materials for this game. Behold: The Standlake University of Cultural Anthropology project on Alanna.

The Standlake University research notes appear eerily authentic. This represents a marvelous impersonation of a dry, boring academic website. Keep in mind that there are some people who believe that video games are supposed to be fun.

I’m ecstatic to report that I finished this adventure game, including the sliding tile puzzle, and I am unashamed to admit that I followed the walkthrough to the letter. I wasn’t going to bother until I noticed that the walkthrough actually had a 71-step process for solving the sliding tile puzzle. The same website, apparently specializing in adventure game walkthroughs, even has software for solving sliding tile puzzles.

See also:

Myst, Alanna’s most obvious influence
Taco Bell Tek Kids— now here’s a company that knows how to do promotional tie-in video games

At MobyGames:

The Lost Island of Alanna
Pepsi Invaders, another Coca-Cola video game

G-Nome Horse Reckoning

Posted on November 3, 2008 by Multimedia Mike

I sometimes need to remind myself that, when I have some time to play a game, I don’t necessarily have to play a game that is not yet in MobyGames. I have an impressive backlog of games that are already in the database but just require screenshots. So in the interest of screenshot recon, I played 3 completely unrelated titles whose records just needed a few screenshots for posterity.

The first is G-Nome. It made me realize that the only thing that could possibly frighten me more than a real-time strategy game, complexity-wise, is a mech simulation. Perhaps Steel Battalion was onto something when they opted to package a gargantuan custom controller with their game. My only guide to the controls was the configuration screen, which went on for pages. I got just enough of an idea, launched into a training mission, and then backed out to study up on more controls. Unfortunately, I am ill-equipped to play G-Nome as it appears that the game requires most of the keys of an extended keyboard, including the keypad. I have an abbreviated, laptop-style keyboard for my desktop (hey, my cat needs the extra space on my desk for sleeping).

So I did not collect too many screenshots for G-Nome. I was able to figure out how to make my mech walk, turn, and shoot. I found the base, or something, shown below since my radar seemed to think it was a target. All the shooting in the world didn’t elicit a reaction.

It’s mildly disheartening to realize that I’m woefully out of my element when not playing a very simple game. So let’s move on to another game in the popular (because there is more than 1 title) Let’s Ride series of equestrian simulators (not to be confused with the Time To Ride series), Let’s Ride: Friends Forever. In the last episode I covered, I couldn’t find anything more to do than tend to my horse (as a girl) and race around the same 3 darn barrels. At least in Friends Forever, the series has expanded to include a male player character. Regrettably, there is even less to do in this version. I’m not even sure if it’s possible to mount the horse:

A game like this features braindead simple controls on which it tutors you every step of the way. When it came time to go outside with my horse, it was not at all obvious how to mount the horse. So I can only conclude that doing so is impossible in this game. Indeed, the entire game appears to revolve around caring for your horse and prepping it, and yourself, for the equestrian beauty pageant. The things I put up with for this gaming project.

After all that, I thought maybe I deserved an enjoyable, action-oriented gaming experience with another recent acquisition called Dead Reckoning. You would think I’d learn by now that all the good games are already in MobyGames along with lots of illustrative screenshots. I pegged this as a Descent clone and I was right, though this game is grievously unfit to carry on the legacy of that series.

The object of each level appears to be to play a 3-on-3 death match against a squad of blue fighter craft. You are the leader of your red team and can give orders to your wingmen. I won a few rounds through no fault of my own.

The graphics are busy yet uninspired and the play control is awkward. Maybe I’m being too hard on it and should do better to consider the period. However, the period excuse won’t work for the awful music. Have you ever opened a creative program, like a music editor or painting program, and starting toying around? Would you ever submit that first round of experimentation as a finished, commercial product? I ask because the music reminds me of someone’s first session with a computer music program, toying with every effect and stereo position without regard to sanity.

I caught this item in the stat screen for the Beetle fighter craft:

I guess I assumed that the people who made The Last Starfighter would have some kind of trademark or other intellectual property protection on the term “Death Blossom”.

See also:

Let’s Ride: Corral Club, another entry in the apparently popular series
There was actually an NES game that claimed to be The Last Starfighter

At MobyGames:

Layers Of Insults

Posted on October 29, 2008 by Multimedia Mike

It was not a good night for this gaming experiment. I tried out 2 recent acquisitions, the first of which was yet another CD-ROM based on the Beauty and the Beast fairy tale (here’s the last game I played based on the same tale). The disc had a series of large AVI files which indicated to me that it may just be an animated storybook. However, one of the non-AVI files explicitly had the word “game” in it. Turns out that the affair is an animated storybook but with a little “Puzzle” minigame. What kind of game? Only the one most hated by me– the sliding tile puzzle:

To be fair, it’s not actually a strict sliding puzzle game. Perhaps that’s what it was originally intended to be, but in this variation, the player can freely move tiles anywhere on the board. So that kind of takes away the challenge and makes the whole thing rather pointless.

I’m not dignifying this title with a MobyGames entry. There just isn’t enough meat there. So next up is Crazy Burger, a dreaded eGames title. Can I expect spyware? Fortunately, the game comes from after their great (government-induced) reformation. However, Spybot Search & Destroy caught a system registry access during the game’s installation.

Still, the game irks me straight out of the gate. I have seen this type of thing with eGames before, though I think it was called a game browser. Now it’s a Game Butler:

After installing the game, I am left a little confused about whether I can actually play the game, whether it actually needs to download itself from a website, whether it’s going to try to charge me for the privilege. But no, I eventually discern from the busy panel that I can click on “Crazy Burger” from the list box control on the left.

I was half-expecting some kind of 3D Burgertime-type game written in Visual Basic. By the time I got this far in the process, I was annoyed enough that I wanted to forgo the game’s entry into the database just to spite the game. The game is not a Burgertime clone, however, which is too bad– I liked Burgertime.

Instead, the game is a highly repetitive casual action game with a single, highly repetitive song. I probably could have dug around to shut it off, but what can I say? I was too busy trying to make a go of the game. The thrust is thus: You are the lone employee of increasingly complex and busy fast food establishments. You must serve a variety of impatient customers by making food with miraculously fast kitchen equipment. Even with the remarkable technology at your disposal, the red-faced fellow below is getting awfully mad:

There are obstacles, too, notably banana peels. Don’t step on one or you will be out of commission for precious seconds. It may sound like a simple trap to avoid. Unfortunately, the game likes to plop them where you can’t possibly see them. There’s also an ever-present sleeping dog in the kitchen. I’m almost certain that’s a health code violation, but whatever. This game was obviously made by a European outfit, as evidenced by the Euro-style prices on the wall (‘1,-‘ and ‘0,80’). Health codes are a bit different over there, if my travel memories serve me.

I thought to research the aforementioned European outfit, German developer Zone 2 Media. They have another food-oriented title called Dönermafia. I think it is based on Döner kebap, one of my favorite foods while I visit Germany (and it’s not even a traditional German item).

See Also:

Disney’s Beauty and the Beast — one of several games based on the Disney retelling
Beauty or the Beast — an odd take on the classic tale

At MobyGames:

Crazy Burger
Beauty and the Beast game group — real games that are based on the classic fairy tale
Burgertime series game group and Burgertime variants game group

All Hail The Moon Deity

Posted on October 18, 2008 by Multimedia Mike

Tonight’s game is Rockett’s Camp Adventures. It comes from Purple Moon, a company that I remember from the late 1990s for the press they received about creating games for girls. I was sure the company would already be in MobyGames, but nope. That means I have yet another forgotten franchise to track down and enter.

Purple Moon published a series of these games that revolved around a girl named Rockett. In this title, she packs her bag for camp and steps into some cliched teen drama the moment she steps off the bus.

Rockett’s Camp Adventure — Welcome to Camp Luna

The intro of the game exhibits the campers chanting songs of worship to the camp’s namesake, namely the earth’s natural satellite. I figured that they may as well be singing to a lunar deity, but then I noticed that Luna is already the Roman god of the moon. This, as well as he ensuing drama may all be part and parcel of the summer camp experience; personally, I have no frame of reference.

Rockett’s Camp Adventure — Nicole balloon

The teen conflict comes in the form on Nicole, ostensibly the spoiled rich girl archetype and anointed leader of “The 1’s”, the elite clique. It seems that most of the kids also attend the same school since many of them are already familiar with each other (and as I typed that, I shivered from the realization that I would probably learn their backstories when I inevitably procure the other Rockett games). Having left high school well over a decade ago, I finally understand how cliched and unrealistic these portrayals of teen social caste can be. The Nicole character is an over-the-top snob and it doesn’t really work. In order for this to reflect teen life as I remember it, she would need to inspire awe and fear in those around her. Much of that fear involves exploiting typical insecurities inherent in other teens. The other teens do not fear her; quite the contrary, they openly mock her to her face, as depicted in the fantasy in the above screenshot.

Forgive the digression into thematic criticism. I will return to the gaming elements now. What there is, anyway. The game is primarily an overblown interactive storybook: Colorful backgrounds with mostly static characters that rarely move. The story proceeds in a linear fashion until there is a pressing realtime decision that the character must make. Well, maybe not realtime. And it’s not that pressing, either. It doesn’t drive the story in any direction. One such decision is when first encountering the Nicole character– Rockett essentially has the choice to throw her support behind Nicole and her gang of 1’s or hang out with her lame friends. No matter how many chances I was offered to snub the uncool kids, the game would not let me choose that path.

There are a number of activities. The first is the canoe race which is not terribly exciting, save for whales, cephalopods and submarines that inhabit this little river. There are no real threats or competition on the river and the only goal is to beat your own time.

I thought the Crystal Caverns game was mildly interesting:

Rockett’s Camp Adventure — Crystal Caverns

In this activity, the player must navigate through a cavern in 7 stages. At each stage, there is a puzzle to solve that reveals the correct door. The puzzles are pretty much at the level Capcom’s Resident Evil series as illustrated by the screenshot above (hint: where does the stick dude’s longest arm point?). Some of the puzzles rely on auditory clues. I solved all the puzzles correctly on the first try but there are no real consequences for guessing wrong– the 3D rendered tunnel simply backs up to the same junction.

There are 2 more activities: An arts & crafts activity of making friendship bracelets, and the DJ Mix Maker:

It’s a 4-track studio application and reminds me a lot of 4-channel Amiga tracker modules (MODs). That made me happy. I often observed that many MOD composers used the 4 channels for beat, bass, chords, and melody. This application basically enforces that same structure, though the budding composer has 10 sound effects to choose from as well.

Rockett also has a little PDA along for the trip (which would have been quite special in 1999 when this game was published). This thing provides help, a private journal, email from the game, progress status, as well as a callout to a web browser to bring up Purple Moon’s website which, surprisingly, is not being squatted upon, though it has been absorbed into a larger Mattel site by now. There is also this research tab which delivers up educational nuggets in certain activities. It provides and describes compass functionality when in the Crystal Caverns (not especially useful, mind you):

Rockett’s Camp Adventure — Compass pronunciation

The part that I was fixated upon was the pronunciation: ‘k&m-p&s’. Did they mean for the ampersand to stand in for pronunciation characters because they were restricted to a 7-bit ASCII encoding? Or are there font issues? I work on multi-lingual user application software so I’m naturally sensitive to these issues.

I think I’ve picked on this game’s content enough. Tech support time. I would be remiss in my duties as a video game historian if I did not publish notes about problems I encountered, complete with retyped error text for the benefit of Google crawlers, as well as the resolutions I found. The first one involves “Xpat Runtime Engine”:

Rockett’s Camp Adventure — xpat runtime engine error

And the second problem I encountered was “Out of memory. can’t create message box While executing: MESSAGEBOX – FILEDLG.DLL”:

Rockett’s Camp Adventure — fildlg.dll error

I made both of these problems go away by setting the compatibility mode for the program to Windows 95.

See Also:

Time to Ride: Saddles & Stables — another game dealing with the struggles of being accepted

At MobyGames:

Rockett’s Camp Adventures

Confusing Game Of Trivial Soup

Posted on October 16, 2008 by Multimedia Mike

Tonight’s title is extremely confusing. I was trying to keep with the theme of commercial tie-ins. I remembered picking up a Campbell’s Soup CD-ROM. The confusion alluded to in the title derives from these facts:

There are 4 software titles on the CD-ROM and on the sleeve
The titles imply that all 4 will be available on the CD-ROM (3 educational games and a calendar creation app)
The CD-ROM displays a volume label of TMUNCHER; the closest any of the listed titles come to this title is Knowledge Munchers Deluxe
There is clearly only 1 game on the CD-ROM — not 4 — and it has something to do with munching

So out of the 3 games that could have been on this disc, I fortuitously came to own the disc with the one game that presently has no entry in MobyGames — Knowledge Munchers Deluxe, which the title screen explicitly notes used to be known as Trivia Munchers Deluxe. So I guess when I get around to adding this game, I will have to list it as that latter title with the former title as an alias. And I will have to add this cover art set as a 1999 Campbell’s Soup re-release.

Trivia/Knowledge Munchers Deluxe — Mixed title screen

I am glad that my curiosity is finally satisfied pertaining to the ultimate payoff when saving Campbell’s Soup labels for education, something that many of us did as children (oh, please don’t tell me I was alone in this).

It occurred to me to search for ‘muncher’ titles. Turns out that there is a whole series revolving around a protagonist named Muncher. Muncher is literally hungry for knowledge. It is your job to guide him to the correct answers so that the little green glutton can gleefully gorge on them.

Trivia/Knowledge Munchers Deluxe — In-game action

And that’s really all there is to the game. Our hero has 2 weaknesses– wrong answers (apparently poison) and adversaries, collectively known as Troggles, such as the overgrown slug pictured. The creators were obviously quite pleased with the various Troggles as they meticulously named and animated each one.

The trivia on offer is incredibly configurable and features levels 1-4 and ultimate. Within each category of trivia, the player can select sub-categories of trivia to be asked (or not).

One more interesting detail: this game has an original copyright date of 1996. What month was it released? Maybe this computer chip, embedded in the game over screen, serves as an Easter egg for video game historians?

Trivia/Knowledge Munchers Deluxe — Possible release date

See Also:

GeoRunner and Superheroes Math Challenge — another company’s take on annoying characters in educational games

At MobyGames:

Trivia/Knowledge Munchers Deluxe

Gaming Pathology

Piles Of Games, Copious Free Time, No Standards

Category: Windows Games

Cribbage Vixens

G-Nome Horse Reckoning

Layers Of Insults

All Hail The Moon Deity

Confusing Game Of Trivial Soup