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Gaming Pathology

Gaming Pathology

Piles Of Games, Copious Free Time, No Standards

Category: Girlie Games

Acquisition Log: Shipping By Ritz

Posted on July 2, 2012 by Multimedia Mike

I once had a game shipped to me in its original box. The seller actually managed to turn the sizable box inside out and tape the thing up, so it did preserve the cover art somewhat. It’s a good thing I’m not the kind of game collector who necessarily cares about the condition of the cover art or I would have righteously freaked out. Here’s a picture I took at the time to share with some other collectors:



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I bring this up because I thought I had a similar situation today:



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This was disappointing in its own way. I had skipped lunch and thought that I had a delivery of delicious crackers straight to my desk.

Alas, inside was just a collection of 8 girl-oriented games in a package (which arrived in terrific shape) named 8 Great Games for Girls, published by Viva Media:



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A big, tough, manly game arrived separately as well– Supreme Commander. Of course, the latter is already well documented in the database, so there’s nothing I can add (except some cover art scans). That means I get to play slightly less masculine games once more (whenever I get around to video game historianism again), since only 2 of the 8 girls games are presently documented in MobyGames:

  • Fashion Craze
  • Supermarket Mania
  • Diamond Drop Deluxe
  • Doggy Daycare
  • The Enchanted Unicorn
  • Happy Tails Animal Shelter
  • Horse Camp
  • My Dream Job: Babysitter
Posted in Acquisitions Girlie Games | Leave a comment

Acquisition Log: Girl Game Extravaganza

Posted on July 11, 2011 by Multimedia Mike

Admit it: A huge reason you follow this blog is because you want to see more of the girlie games. You’ll be glad to hear that I have acquired an impressive number of these in the last year. It should come as little surprised that almost none of these are in the MobyGames database yet.



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  • Rockett’s Secret Invitation
  • Rockett’s First Dance
  • Rockett’s Adventure Maker
  • What’s Her Face!
  • Evergirl …Your Way To Play!



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  • Adventures With Barbie: Ocean Discovery
  • Barbie Adventure: Riding Club
  • Barbie Cool Looks Fashion Designer
  • Barbie and Her Magical House
  • Kelly Club (also part of the Barbie franchise)
  • Secret Paths To Your Drives (from Purple Moon, the Rockett people)



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  • Disney Princesses: The Crystal Ball Adventure (for the VTech V.Flash system; I still have yet to open mine)
  • Mission: Runway
  • Jojo’s Fashion 3-Set Collection; includes Jojo’s Fashion Show, Jojo’s Fashion Show 2, and Jojo’s Fashion Show World Tour
  • Fairy Godmother Tycoon (also mentioned in my Tycoon Game Tycoon acquisition entry)



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  • Ellie’s Enchanted Garden
  • Wedding Dash 2
  • Serafina’s Adventure (oops, this is actually an audio CD and not a game)
  • Galaxy of Games for Girls
  • Mall of America Tycoon (also mentioned in my Tycoon Game Tycoon acquisition entry)
  • Cosmopolitan Virtual Makeover 2003
  • Detective Barbie in the Mystery of the Carnival Caper
Posted in Acquisitions Barbie Games Girlie Games | Leave a comment

Detective Barbie 2: The Vacation Mystery

Posted on June 28, 2009 by Multimedia Mike

Yes! Barbie’s back! It seems that the initial outing for Team Barbie Detective in Barbie Detective (which I will probably eventually acquire so it can be entered into the database) was popular enough to warrant a sequel. So Barbie, Ken, and their wheelchair-bound friend — together comprising a formidable crime-solving force — take off on a much-needed vacation only to find themselves toe to toe with another tantalizing mystery at their resort destination.

So how bad could this really be, right? I’ve suffered through quite a lot, Barbie-wise, for the sake of this blog and MobyGames. What could this game possibly serve up to push me to the brink? How about this Barbie Detective theme song which forcibly plays during installation? Listen to it; listen to it all! Share in my pain…

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It’s darn creepy, mind you, the male singer crooning inappropriately that, “there’s just one girl you need to call / and she will … ease … your … mind.”

I’m not afraid, though, so I pressed forth. And I’m glad I did because this is the kind of game I live for in this Gaming Pathology project. Games that elicit just the right combination of awe, bewilderment, and outright guffaws. Really, I haven’t laughed so hard at a game while being simultaneously stunned since… I don’t know, maybe Secret Agent Barbie.

Remember that one music trivia game I played, Radio Active, the one that stored a database of 761 possible player names so it could personally address you? Before I found the fixed database, I wondered if it might actually sound out the name you input. Detective Barbie 2 actually does just that:


Detective Barbie 2 -- Sounding out your name

Yeah, it’s a little weird when you first study the list. You can click on any of the selections and the game will cheerfully sound it out, though many of the adjacent selections sound the same. Throughout the game, Barbie will specifically address you by this name, although the pronunciation tends to sound a tad inconsistent with her normal speech patterns.

So, about the story: Team Barbie Detective arrives at the Inn at Lighthouse Cove for a little R&R. The Inn, it must be noted, was built by an eccentric inventor and is known to be loaded with puzzles. Before they even get a chance to check in and bring their bags in from the car, the team learns from the innkeeper that some long-forgotten antique jewelry has been stolen. This makes me wonder how they knew it had been stolen if it was already long forgotten. But that’s just what the manual indicated. The in-game narrative is a little fuzzier on the details. I just know I’m supposed to wander around the Inn and surrounding grounds in search of “clues,” ones that usually hang out in plain sight, as we’ll see a bit later. Some are only visible with the help of the magnifying glass that Barbie finds and takes a shine to:


Detective Barbie 2 -- Clue on the lighthouse globe

When hovering the magnifying glass over the globe, a handprint glows green. I suspect I was supposed to care, but I couldn’t find a way to act on it.

Detective Barbie 2 was developed by Gorilla Systems Corporation. They were also responsible for Barbie as Sleeping Beauty as well as Barbie Magic Genie Bottle (and presumably the custom accessory that came with it). This game is based on a marginal 3D engine, perhaps similar to that found in Magic Genie Bottle. You guide Barbie left, right, forward, and back against a backdrop that scales in and out when going forward or back on the plane. It started to make me wonder if these were just straight bitmaps that were scaled in and out. However, Barbie can go behind and in front of objects. Further, she casts quasi-accurate shadows, so there might be some actual 3D work going on here.

When using the magnifying glass over a region, all the pixels are just made bigger and blockier.


Detective Barbie 2 -- International chef

Along the way, the player talks to a colorful cast of characters, each of whom is naturally a suspect. Take the chef above, for example. Personally, I found her most suspect characteristic to be her accent, which seemed to shift between French, German, and Russian. I would like to include a sample here but I can’t figure out the coding format the speech samples are stored in.

Here’s another nitpicky detail I got hung up on:


Detective Barbie 2 -- Kelly in a wheelchair

So teammate Kelly is wheelchair-bound. Fine, not a big deal. I’m just wondering how they managed to transport Kelly’s motorized wheelchair in Barbie’s pink convertible roadster:


Detective Barbie 2 -- Pink, convertible, spacious roadster

And what kind of car is that, anyway? At first, it looked a bit like a Porsche. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a spacious Porsche convertible.

So, like I said, Barbie has to walk around the place and be spoon-fed clues and cues to advance the plot. Further, there are a few, more action-oriented activities, such as boat racing and hang gliding. I found the latter activity during my brief play. There wasn’t really any point (goal) to it that I could find; just a brief diversion. This is supposed to be a vacation after all.

I have to admit, the Inn was constructed beautifully enough that I rather enjoyed exploring the grounds, though I often had to fight with the awkward control scheme to do so (push the mouse cursor to extreme edges of the screen to make Barbie move). It’s just too bad I couldn’t bring myself to care too deeply about the mystery at hand. However, I got one last giant laugh from this scene and then decided I had reached my Barbie limit for the evening:


Detective Barbie 2 -- Floating teacup clue

I must have tripped a plot point by visiting some other location because when I returned to this room, what do I find, but a phantom teacup just sort of floating there. This game isn’t supposed to have supernatural elements to it so I can only assume that this is merely an idiosyncrasy of the 3D engine. Anyway, I photograph it and feed the data into the portable crime computer. Kelly then notifies me via videoconference that it appears to be a teacup, most likely used for a garden party. She says this seriously as though it’s some kind of critical clue.

This game is just ridiculous enough that I’m tempted to play it again some time to see what other kinds of amusement might await.

See Also:

  • Barbie as Sleeping Beauty
  • Barbie Magic Genie Bottle
  • Secret Agent Barbie
  • Radio Active

At MobyGames:

  • Detective Barbie 2: The Vacation Mystery
  • Barbie’s game group, somehow still incomplete despite my best efforts
Posted in Adventure Games Barbie Games Girlie Games Puzzle Games | 18 Comments

Barbie Mermaid Adventure

Posted on March 22, 2009 by Multimedia Mike

Yep, one more. Another Barbie title that I overlooked during my Barbie gaming spree back in January. Honestly, I don’t know why I even bother to keep a spreadsheet of all my games if it can’t even help me keep track. MobyGames needs to have complete information on every Barbie game under the sun, and my sources indicate that we aren’t even close to being done.

So Barbie dons her fins and takes to the water in Barbie Mermaid Adventure. There are minigames aplenty, starting with the cuddlefish game (not to be confused with cuttlefish, at least, that’s what I’m asserting). The goal is to rock them all to sleep. If you pass by one that’s already snoozing, it will wake up. So there’s a little logic at work here.


Barbie Mermaid Adventure -- Cuddlefish game

These Barbie games (and Macromedia Director-based, kid-targeted games in general) are highly formulaic. So here’s the formula for Mermaid Adventure:

  • 3 levels, each of which has:
  • 1 rainbow dolphin
  • 2 minigames
  • 3 musicians

The goal of the game is to prepare the big party. In each of the 3 levels, find the rainbow dolphin. Before you can do that, you must complete the 2 minigames for the level. And while you’re at it, contact each of the 3 musicians jamming in that level.

Here’s another minigame, where it’s necessary to match 8 pairs of fish as they float around:


Barbie Mermaid Adventure -- Matching fish game

This game leaves me undecided about the aquatic doll — she’s either the most easygoing individual ever when faced with enormous stress, or she is a remarkable airhead who doesn’t understand priorities. The opening movie sets up all the problems (complete with all the juicy data I will need for a perfect MobyGames entry, which I managed to furiously transcribe, and I appreciate it was all explained right there in one place): We’re going to have a big party today with a carefully choreographed dance number to live music. But we need to personally invite the 9 musicians so that they can play — we’ll work out the music later. Oh, and the magic shell of light in the theater just broke. And that’s why we need the magical trio of rainbow dolphins — only they can repair it (I wanted to make a comment here about rainbow tuna nets but it’s late and I just can’t figure out a way to make it fit).

And Barbie still has time to spare to cheerfully listen to a clownfish tell silly fish jokes. I wager there are times when Barbie wishes she wasn’t so good with animals.

So while there should be 6 minigames, mathematically, there are actually only 4. There is one unique game per level, but one maze in each which Samika the Seahorse must complete. The goal for each of these mazes is to obtain something else for Barbie to wear at the party. I was a little stunned when I saw these boxer shorts:


Barbie Mermaid Adventure -- Seahorse maze

Barbie assured me the item was actually a necklace. Naturally, there is an activity where you can decorate the necklace as well as earrings and a crown using the seashells collected throughout the adventure. Another non-game activity is to jam with the musicians.

One more minigame, and this one was predictably fun. It’s hard to go wrong with a Breakout clone which is what you must play to, well, save the whale:


Barbie Mermaid Adventure -- Save the whale, Breakout clone

See Also:

  • Barbie as Rapunzel and Barbie Magic Genie Bottle, just to name 2 of the many Barbie games I have put up with for this blog

At MobyGames:

  • Barbie Mermaid Adventure
  • The ever-expanding list of Barbie titles at MobyGames
Posted in Barbie Games Childrens Games Girlie Games Licensed Schlock Windows Games | Tagged barbie mermaid | 2 Comments

Barbie Beach Vacation

Posted on January 12, 2009 by Multimedia Mike

I do apologize for this brazen oversight — my master spreadsheet claimed that Barbie Beach Vacation already had corresponding screenshots in MobyGames when it clearly does not. That means I have to extend the Barbie coverage another night.

The first thing I notice about Beach Vacation is the different — and dare I say, creepy — art and animation style:


It's Overtly Sinister Barbie! New from Mattel

It's Overtly Sinister Barbie! New from Mattel


I’m a little surprised that Barbie’s appearance varies so widely between the assorted titles in her gaming oeuvre. This is the kind of thing I would expect Mattel to keep tight control over. But maybe only Disney is that strict, which is perhaps why they keep most game development in-house nowadays.

Barbie and her friends hit the beach, apparently one on a remote, private island. As I was jotting down notes to that effect, it dawned on me: Isn’t Barbie’s canon backstory that she lives in Malibu, California? Is it really necessary to cruise to a remote island to catch some rays?

Moving right along, the game is a collection of 7 minigames/activities. Actually, “minigame” pretty well describes all of the components since there are usually very concrete goals and you are basically prohibited from proceeding until you satisfactorily complete the task at hand. Tasks include surfing, water skiing, diving, and photographing marine life.


Barbie Beach Vacation -- Building sand castles to spec

In the foregoing activity, Barbie — and when I say Barbie, I mean you, the player — is tasked with creating sand castles for a sand castle competition. At first, I tried to let my limited creativity flow with the tools at my disposal. That effort was dashed when Barbie kept reminding me that she didn’t think what I was doing was a good idea. You see, on the top of the screen are the components you absolutely must use to create a castle during this round. Look, Barbie, let’s not forget who’s helping whom here. If you tell me exactly what components I need to use in the sand castle, then you’re going to get letter-of-the-law nonsense as shown above so that I can keep the screenshot recon moving.


Barbie's evil friend practices her dance

After winning the grueling multi-round elimination sand castle tournament on the beach, Barbie walks in on her similarly malevolent-looking pal practicing her dance moves for the big party. Barbie dons a new outfit (it’s important to note that Barbie gets to choose from a selection of new outfits prior to embarking on any activity) and practices her own dance. As she shakes it, it is your job to… I’m not sure, something about clicking on the left and right mouse buttons as musical notes move in to assault Barbie.


Barbie Beach Vacation -- Barbie practices her dancing

This minigame baffled me more than perhaps any other game played for this Gaming Pathology effort. But the game was sympathetic to my plight as it chose to just randomly end the dance after awhile.

Then it’s on to plan the big beach party. Choose from 2 locations, a number of hanging decorations, as well as a number of sitting decorations that were hidden in bottles recovered throughout other activities. Decide where to place the DJ and every single one of your friends. Be sure to place Ken near you and not near one of your girlfriends, and press the button to make the party transpire.


Barbie Beach Vacation -- Making the party happen

I have heard the horror tales about brides who try to micromanage every finest detail of their weddings. I think it’s obvious that these women got the idea that such fine-grained control over a party is even possible: they played computer games like this.

Tanned, rested and ready to tackle another wild adventure, Barbie and her friends depart from the island. I can’t be sure, but I think that this crab — an extraneous prop that is generally a filmmaker’s shorthand indicating that the action takes place on a tropical island (see also: scorpion as shorthand for desert) — is actually flipping them the claw.


Barbie Beach Vacation -- Crab flipping them off

See Also:

  • Barbie as Princess Bride
  • Barbie as Rapunzel
  • Barbie as Sleeping Beauty
  • Barbie Magic Genie Bottle
  • Secret Agent Barbie

At MobyGames

  • Barbie’s Beach Vacation
  • Every Barbie game that MobyGames knows about
Posted in Adventure Games Barbie Games Childrens Games Girlie Games Windows Games | Tagged barbie beach island | Leave a comment

Metal Gear Barbie

Posted on January 10, 2009 by Multimedia Mike

You’ll be happy — or saddened, depending on whether you have the same twisted idea of entertainment that I do — to learn that tonight’s game will be the last Barbie game for awhile, until such time that I happen to procure another Barbie game that A) is not yet in MobyGames, or B) is already in the database, but that I genuinely want to play. What?

Yeah, you read that right — unless there’s a Barbie game that I actually care to try my hand at. Tonight’s game — Secret Agent Barbie — already has a very complete record with a good description, diverse set of screenshots, and complete credits. But I admit that I want to see what this is about. After all, I’m a moderate fan of sneaking games like Metal Gear Solid. And after a week of metaphorically eating my vegetables by playing Barbie titles for MobyGames, I hope this tastes like dessert.


It's Sky Diving Secret Agent Barbie! New from Mattel

It's Sky Diving Secret Agent Barbie! New from Mattel; seriously, though, the game implies that Barbie deploys to all of her secret missions via parachute, in broad daylight, in the shadow of the Statue of Liberty and the Eiffel Tower


As the name implies, Barbie does a stint at an espionage agency. The agency goes unnamed. And they don’t really fight international threats. Mostly, they seem to investigate theft incidents that occur in the world of high fashion. Really, the organization seems more like a private investigator’s office with an extravagant clothing budget.


Secret Agent Barbie -- clothing change

Clothing, you should know, plays a significant role in anything Barbie. This game is no different. Barbie has to change clothes every time she switches into a different game mode. There are 3 such modes — action (where Barbie can run and jump, onto crates, for example), adventure (where Barbie can walk casually and talk to people), and stealth (where Barbie can crouch as she walks and can also do a roll).

Clothing and guards– guards also play a significant role in the game. The game features extensive VR training for all 3 modes in which much of the focus is how to deal with guards. In stealth mode, the player is taught to perform a tumble-roll directly in the guard’s field of vision. Sure enough, he doesn’t notice you. In the adventure/talky mode, the player is instructed to use the makeup compact. After the guard gruffly warns that you are not allowed to pass, take out the compact and blow the contents in the guard’s face. Then casually wander past him. I guarantee that Barbie has never been more reprehensible than when she executes this maneuver.


Secret Agent Barbie -- Giving a guard the compact treatment

But I wanted to give this game the old college try. After the cursory, hand-holding training, the agency receives word that a famous fashion designer has had her designs stolen from the major New York fashion show, apparently held in Central Park. So Barbie ‘chutes in to investigate. The game immediately goes to action/jumping mode. In Central Park. Why?


Yep, crates in a park

Yep, crates in a park


Crates, that’s why. Stacked meters high in central park. Amidst fields whose “keep off grass” signs must be backed with deadly force. Old Man Murray would be proud (see Crate Review System).

So I wandered around the high fashion tent in Central Park and immediately found an invitation to a fashion show in Paris. This meant that Barbie had to go make a trip to that fashion mecca. Which is about the time that the banality thwarted any further interest. Obviously, all the missions are going to be extremely cut & dried– go to this location, avoid guard, find item; go to that location, use gadget, distract guard, find code; keep repeating. I mean, this is is so unlike Metal Gear Solid where Solid Snake is instructed to go to some location, avoid the guards, gather some item; then go to another location, use gadget… wait… ummm… well, at least Solid Snake doesn’t change his outfit all the time… no, wait, in parts 3 and 4, he is constantly changing camouflage as a key aspect of the game.

Look, at least the Metal Gear Solid series has big, cool robots, a feature notably missing from this game… probably. I didn’t really play far enough. Frankly, if this game featured a final fashion contest against a giant fashion robot, I might have to qualify it as being even better than a Metal Gear Solid game.

See Also:

  • Barbie as Princess Bride
  • Barbie as Rapunzel
  • Barbie as Sleeping Beauty
  • Barbie Magic Genie Bottle
  • Barbie Beach Vacation

At MobyGames:

  • Secret Agent Barbie
  • Every Barbie game that MobyGames knows about
  • Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes, my personal favorite stealth action game
Posted in Action Games Adventure Games Barbie Games Girlie Games Windows Games | Tagged barbie spy | 6 Comments

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