D: The Game

Posted on January 27, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

Actually, this game is merely entitled D (Sega Saturn version). No subtitle. I just added that to the post title in an effort to make it less confusing. You might think it’s the same as one of the sponsors of Sesame Street, but the content of the game is actually quite orthogonal to that of a kids’ television show. Let’s dive right in with a representative screenshot:

Admittedly, the foregoing screenshot has been significantly brightened so you have a fighting chance of making it out. But I suppose such effect does undercut the dark nightmare scenario portrayed throughout the story. The screenshot depicts Laura, our protaganist who is also attending art school in San Francisco, discovering a skeleton long ago impaled upon a wall of spikes, a surprisingly common facet of the decoration in the area she is exploring. Thing is, her dad runs a mental institution in Los Angeles, but went nuts himself and started killing everyone. The police don’t feel like tackling the situation. So Laura makes her way from San Francisco to Los Angeles to figure things out. That’s pretty much all the backstory you get. Remember, Laura came all the way from San Francisco for this family reunion. The only reason I point that out is that the game thought it was pretty interesting. Literary criticism is a bit out of my league, but that’s okay since proper literature is probably beyond the reach of whoever wrote this story. They tried to set up this taut thriller of a storyline but threw in some completely superfluous details, to say nothing of the breaks in pacing during the intro sequence when the cinematic editing repeatedly cuts to Laura’s automobile speeding along the freeway. To get from S.F. to L.A., in case that wasn’t clear before.

If it seems like I’m harping on the cinematic and story elements pretty hard, that’s because that’s really all there is to this game. It’s another entry into that wretched genre called the interactive movie, published in 1995 during the rise of such games. Perhaps I’m somewhat prejudiced at this point but my stomach churned at the thought of playing this game. But I suck it up for the sake of the experiment.

The game is somewhat like a horror version of Myst in that you are given very little backstory or context; you’re just plunged into some alternate universe where you’re forced to bumble around, look at stuff, touch things, and just try to figure out what’s going on. Sure, the game allegedly starts in a hospital. But as soon as you set foot inside, you touch an amorphous blob and are whisked off to… well, you don’t know. Your dad’s head appears and urges you to return home. And here comes an interesting facet of the game: You have 2 hours to finish:

Check that out! How many programmers have written analog clock programs? How many of them have actually had occasion to use them in a commercial application? Hats off to the developers in that regard. Getting back to the gameplay, if you don’t finish in 2 hours, it’s game over. The game consists of moving from pre-defined location to pre-defined location where the movement is all pre-rendered FMV. There are occasional items to pick up and use. There are likely opportunities to die a horrible death. I came close to one, but the game was merciful. This time. Laura also has a compact case that she can look at to gather clues. I get the impression that you can only use it 2-3 times per game before it shatters.

BTW, no pausing. You could claim that D is similar to Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! in that respect. I suppose you could technically qualify this game as a real-time interactive movie since it enforces that 2-hour deadline at all times. Not only can you not pause but you can’t fast forward through any animations, not even drawn-out ones that you accidentally triggered a second time, like trying to open a locked door.

I gave this game a fair shake and played until I got hopelessly stuck and the compact wouldn’t surrender anymore clues. Based on what I saw, I think Laura is going to be another character like Claire from Resident Evil: Code Veronica due to the fact that, no matter how many gruesome sights and impaled corpses she witnesses, she will never grow desensitized to the horror. You might think Laura might come to expect disconcerting things in this place.

Widget

Posted on January 26, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

I still have a few ultra-obscure NES games that I picked up used at various junctures that neither I nor MobyGames know anything about. To judge the Widget cartridge by its cover, the game deals with a cheerful purple alien by the same name who gains guidance from a being with a big brain (I would later learn his name is Mega Brain) with whom Widget communicates via his watch.

So I feel I’m pretty much on my own to figure this out. Let’s see, it looks like a gang of aliens are invading earth (or an incredible facsimile thereof) and the high elder aliens of your race are tasking you with thwarting this development. The first locale that I must liberate is Australia, land of cactus and pyramids (according to this game). At least the level also features crocodiles, although they might have screwed up and made them alligators; I’m not the type that can discern the difference.

Widget in the land of pyramids (Australia)

It’s your standard NES side-scrolling shooter. Widget has a weapon that can fire horizontally and diagonal-up. He can jump. He can cower on the ground in abject terror. He can do it all while never breaking that winning smile. But the value-add to this game is the various widgets into which he can transform. This is done via a subscreen, the same one that Widget can use to contact the brain from the cartridge art which offers erudite nuggets such as “make sure to collect all items”.

So from the beginning of the game, I have the ability to transform into a purple, immovable cannon for about 3 seconds that fires more powerful shots (probably, it’s tough to measure). As the game progresses, Widget can also transform into a mouse, rock-man, bird-man, and dolphin. Neat. I wish I could have seen some of that action. Unfortunately, this game reminds me of why I spent so much of my game-playing childhood angry at my television. Widget embodies the worst annoyances of the classic side-scrolling genre, including, but not limited to:

limited rate of fire: only one fired round on screen at once, and you’re a sitting duck until such time the round makes its way off the screen
enemy respawn quirks: back up slightly and move forward, enemy respawns or effectively re-energizes if not already destroyed
jump precision: there are a bunch of chasms where you have to begin the jump halfway off the edge or you won’t make it to the other side
sheer tedium of rote gameplay: play, memorize, die, repeat

It’s a password game (6 digits), so the designers must have thought it was challenging enough that a player would need more than one sitting.

I don’t think our protaganist is an especially capable hero. I didn’t catch much of the story, but I don’t think the elders who assigned him this mission thought very highly of his skills either and just wanted to get rid of him. Maybe they don’t trust his smile either. In what was probably a running gag in the game, the elders couldn’t even get his name right. No respect.

I can recall a time when I would have dutifully played through this game, and I even have fond memories of those days and determination. I’ll tell you about it someday. However, in today’s fast-paced world, we no longer need the patience to sit through an entire game, not with the advent of tool-assisted game movies. Someone actually made a quick run of this game that takes less than 6 minutes. One of the speed run attributes is listed as “Abuses programming errors in the game”. No joke. This appears to be an extraordinarily glitchy game. This is my favorite bug manifestation:

Deer Avenger 2: Deer In The City

Posted on January 25, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

I already had the momentum from last night’s Deer Avenger so I thought I would keep going and gather screenshots for the sequel, Deer Avenger 2: Deer In The City. That’s right, there was a sequel. After all, the cover copy claims that the first game was a best-selling parody. A sequel is pretty much mandatory. In fact, a little Googling reveals that there was also Deer Avenger 3-D and Deer Avenger 4: The Rednecks Strike Back.

As the title implies, Bambo takes the battle to the humans in this episode. His specific mission is to take revenge for his would-be doe lover who was caught in the headlights of a truck piloted by 3 particularly ruthless and drunk rednecks. The game revolves around going after each of the 3 offenders on their respective home turfs: the Armpit Estates (suburban setting), the Business District (office setting), and the Swamp Ass Grill (redneck bar locale). The game takes great pains to explain, as humorously as it can, that no metaphorical humans are being killed in this game. You have 3 high-powered tranquilizer-launching firearms to choose from– a Snuzi, a R.E.M.-16 and a Dream Weaver. Each has its own characteristics. Personally, I was partial to the limited automatic capability of the R.E.M.-16 because it allowed for strafing moving targets.

The above screenshot depicts the Armpit Estates stage. You have unlimited ammo and are rewarded for shooting anything that can be destroyed– Windows, trash cans, and of course people. Sometimes you have do shoot doors or garage doors to get to the people. When you get rid of the rest of the humans in the area, you are able to take on the stage boss, one of the 3 hunters responsible for the death of your loved one. As for gameplay, you have your primary weapon and can also duck to dodge return fire. You can not use your weapon in the ducked state but you always have your limited capacity fart offensive capability to fall back on. Find salt shakers for extra health.

It’s interesting to note that when a game really is popular enough to warrant a sequel, the designers don’t usually mess with the formula too much. The people behind this game decided to speed things up significantly vs. the previous game, which I appreciate greatly. What I really enjoyed about this game is the diversity of enemies. Each of the three areas has its own unique set of characters, and each character has its own unique patterns and challenges. I should mention at this point that all the enemies are well-armed, and not with tranquilizer darts. Here is the office environment:

That’s the boss’s son. He’s exceptionally weak and when you take him down, Bambo puts him over the knee for a harsh spanking. I’m not sure what brought that on, exactly.

The most grotesque part of the game was when I was dutifully viewing the credits movie which showcases the most farts accompanied by the most deer anuses. The things I do for MobyGames.

The Games So Far

Posted on January 24, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

I was taking stock today of how much I have enjoyed the games thus far in this Gaming Pathology experiment. Out of all the games thus far, I can think of about 4 that have really stood out, that I have really enjoyed playing, and that I look forward to playing again when I get the time (these include Hot Wired, Clockwork Knight, Snow Day (really!), and Skateboard Park Tycoon). And the others? There haven’t been too many games that I have intensely disliked (I’m looking at you, Criticom) — I’m the type of person who can find a positive aspect about anything. I feel fairly ambivalent towards a number of the games — don’t love ’em, don’t hate ’em, but also don’t feel any desire to play them again at a future date.

So how many games have I played so far in this experiment? I have started keeping a static page in this blog that lists all the games played: Master Play List. Note that this page also shows up under the page list on the side bar. I will eventually spruce it up with some links, e.g., to the MobyGames entries when they become available.

Deer Avenger

Posted on January 24, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

Once again, I find myself drifting out into the sea of gaming genres, this time to the wildlife hunting simulation genre. More accurately, tonight’s game is a parody of that surprise hit genre that experienced popularity in the late 1990s (you have a hit, you’re going to see imitators and parodies). Hypnotix developed, and Simon and Schuster Interactive published, Deer Avenger in which the deer who would be hunted turns the tables on rednecks who have dealt suffering to his species.

Based on the data I have gathered so far, I think Hypnotix specializes in developing Smacker-based video games. I guess this is a step up from, say, Visual Basic-based games and they seem to do a reasonable job with their efforts. If the formula works, more power to them.

The game is pretty quick to explain because there is not much to it. And truthfully, the game is only a vehicle by which to make fun of hunter stereotypes as well as the hunting game genre. The game allows you to select from among 3 weapons– the M-16, the bazooka, and the sling shot. I think these are arranged in order of difficulty, i.e., the M-16 actually has a scope and some range while the sling shot can barely launch past arm’s reach. Then you select from among either a West Virginia, Connecticut, or snowy Minnesota locale. Wander through the map from an overhead view and try to locate traces of hunter activity. For example:

Deer Avenger -- Nudie Mag Hunter Markings

When you enter an area to hunt, you are thrust into a first person 360-degree panoramic scan of your current position, hoping — praying, even — that something will happen. But that facet is all part of the parody. Your deer character will keep you entertained with a rotation of quips while you wait. You can trigger more gags by pressing the “calls” icon. You can also use the binoculars to look around but this only serves to seek out humorous tidbits like amorous squirrels doing what amorous squirrels do. If you’re very lucky, you might see one of the selection of humans in the game. This is the allegedly elusive tree man, a survivalist that I saw with inordinate frequency:

Deer Avenger -- Hunting the Tree Man with sling shot

The sling shot must be the toughest weapon to use. Apparently, you fling your own feces, and at an odd angle with very little range. I didn’t have remarkable success in this game, in any of the locations with any of the weapons. The calls and farts (to flush out hunters) don’t seem to have any effect and the encounters appear to be purely random (I can’t believe a parody game would put to much effort into the encounter logic). In the end, I was disappointed to have to call it quits and write this entry before my bloodlust was sated.

This is probably the closest I will ever come to playing an actual hunting simulation. I can’t say I’m particularly excited about the prospect of playing a game like this, only with more real-life accuracy and even greater emphasis on patience. And I was patient enough to complete the stealth action Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes.

Zen: Intergalactic Ninja

Posted on January 23, 2007 by Multimedia Mike

I’m branching out with tonight’s game, system-wise. My motivation is to keep with the environmental theme started by Taco Bell’s Tek Kids. Tonight’s game is Zen: Intergalactic Ninja for the old 8-bit NES:

I purchased this used title a few years ago and played it briefly. The reason it came to mind now is based on what stood out at me during that brief gameplay: Our boy Zen does one better than those enviro-conscious Tek Kids and actually plants bombs in an industrial factory and must escape in 99 seconds. I’ve played a lot of games with time limits but at least this one has a reason for it.

Zen: Intergalactic Ninja Toxic Conveyers

The above is a screenshot of the inside of the “Toxic Factory” (is there really a market for Toxic and a compelling motivation to build a factory to produce it?). Our little eco-terrorist arms a number of incendiary devices and must proceed along an isometric, quasi-3D plane and dodge security drones, roving lasers, and ceiling claws in order to escape. I should apologize in advance now because if I’m the best defender earth has against polluters, you all might as well learn to enjoy Toxic, and soon. This is a tough stage, or perhaps I’m exceptionally rusty at old NES action games.

Just when I started getting dispirited that I might not get a useful diversity of screenshots for MobyGames, I take a good look at the world map that drops you into the Toxic Factory– it’s actually a stage select. So I choose the next level, the Acidic Forest Stage:

Zen: Intergalactic Ninja -- Meet Sulfura, Go Down

This stage is somewhat difficult to wrap one’s head around. You first enter the forest on the ground level. Then the game goes into an auto-pilot mode where Zen does these magnificent leaps to the tops of the trees, and then leaps higher into… some higher plane where he meets Sulfura as depicted above. Now you’re in control again and you grab some powerup, at which point the game implores you to “go down”. At first I thought this meant I was supposed to gun for Sulfura’s legs. But then I headed back down into the forest below. You walk around and revive the dying flowers by striking them with your photon stick. Meanwhile, there are these little Metroid-like creatures that float about, masking themselves as clouds, dropping acid rain, and shooting lightning.

Zen: Intergalactic Ninja -- Acidic Forest Gameplay

I am not entirely sure what the end goal of this stage is. I kept hopping around the small wooded region trying to revive all the flowers (status is indicated by the flower meter in the upper left corner of the screen), all the while thinking that this type of assignment is rather beneath a ninja, particularly an intergalactic one. I was eager to move onto the next mission– the Off Shore Oil Rig Stage.

This is pretty straightforward– the whole oil rig is going up in flames (there’s probably an environmental message in there somewhere) and you’re on a rescue mission to get the people out. Dodge the random enemy creeping along the ground (I think they might be sentient oil slicks), dodge the fireballs raining from above, grab the fire extinguisher powerups and use them on doors that are screaming for assistance.

This episode doesn’t seem like it would be so bad. However, you can only use a fire extinguisher once, and I mean per game, and it doesn’t appear that there are any surplus extinguishers. Thus, if you grab one but die before using it and must restart, you’re pretty much sunk until it’s time to continue the level. If I were to give the game’s designers the benefit of the doubt, I would have to guess that they were using Zen: Intergalactic Ninja as a metaphor that saving the environment is difficult, tedious work.

The fourth stage that you have access to from the start of the game (it’s possible that there are more stages after you finish these four; it’s a big world map) is the High Speed Railway stage. Out of all four stages played I found this one was actually marginally fun:

Zen finds himself in a mine cart at high speeds as promised. He has the ability to make the cart jump and can still attack while riding. The scrolling alternates between side view and isometric view depending on where the track is leading. Sometimes there is a switch you can hit to select a different, but no less lethal, track. This stage reminded me of several stages from Battletoads, which is probably why I enjoyed this part so much. Lest you think that this is disconnected from the game’s overall environmental theme, the green, pointy-headed aliens that brief you before each stage explain that you must stop “Garbageman” from spewing nuclear waste all over the place.

This game came out in 1993, late in the NES’ lifetime. It’s characteristic of the NES’ twilight days, when the game designers really knew how to make graphics, sound, and gameplay rock on the old grey box and I applaud the variety of gameplay on display here, as well as the attention given to graphics and animation. I’m not saying I necessarily like the game. I kept hoping that Ryu from Ninja Gaiden would pop in and show Zen how things are done.

Gaming Pathology

Piles Of Games, Copious Free Time, No Standards

Author: Multimedia Mike