If your reaction upon reading the title of today’s game, Forbes Corporate Warrior, instills a deep sense on confusion and even apprehension, don’t worry– that’s perfectly natural. Succinctly, the game uses the first person shooter (FPS) genre as a metaphor for the world of business. “Business is war! Cash is ammo!” is the tag line. I think this qualifies as some kind of gaming mash-up.

If you’re like me, your knowledge and understanding of economic theory does not extend much farther than hoping the ATM keeps spewing the green stuff. Personally, I found Corporate Warrior a bit difficult to wrap my head around. And the manual, which reads like an Econ 101 cheat sheet, doesn’t help much. Perhaps a direct plagiarism of the keyboard controls section will help you, the reader, to understand a bit better what goes on in this game:

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3. Game Control:
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Keyboard Commands

move                          arrow keys
fire weapon                   CTRL (hold down for rapid fire)
choose weapon                 number keys (1 through 9)
rotate thru weapons           TAB
change speed                  hold down SHIFT and arrow key
strafe                        hold down ALT and arrow key
increase Thrifty orientation  Z or DELete
increase Luxury orientation   A or INSert
sell stock/equity             END
buy back stock/equity         HOME
increase debt                 PG UP
decrease debt                 PG DN
scan competitor               C
answer the video phone        SPACE BAR
advanced Radar Mode           R
radar zoom in / zoom out      +/- (press several times)
shield On/Off                 S
exit to main menu             ESC

After awhile of trying to digest this mini-econ refresher course, I decided I should just dive into the game. It ought to just be a FPS dressed up in business-y sounding terms. The backstory is that a brilliant scientist developed a virtual reality helmet called the Direct Stimulus Market Interface (DSMI, which I believe would be pronounced “diss-me”). Some global illuminati organization got to her but she managed to get the helmet to you in order that you may be able to use it as a tool for good, or something like that. Her communications to you are highly reminiscent of Nigerian scammers.

So you start out in an exceptionally ratty little closet of an office equipped with the DSMI VR helmet. The game has you at the helm of a business with a certain amount of cash on hand. You are in a metaphorical business arena with different types of enemies (“competitors”, technically) bearing disparate characteristics. Your primary weapon for disabling competitors is the Price Slicer. That uses cash when it’s fired. You also spend cash to move, even more to run. Heck, it even costs money when you stand still, though not as much. I think the game is trying to convey the notion that it costs money to run a business.

The preceding screenshot depicts gameplay. The competitor in this case is a piranha, something that stalks you in packs and can’t be outrun. They can’t be destroyed by the Price Slicer; you have to upgrade to the Ad Blaster. The bottom of the screen depicts your stock performance through the quarter. Don’t let it dip too low or a disembodied female voice will torment you endlessly with, “Stock price dangerously low!” The same voice helpfully notifies you when your cash reserves are below a 1/2 million dollars.

I somehow managed to make it to the second stage by shooting enemies and collecting items (including weapons like the Ad Blaster and little blue boxes representing market share) until it was the end of the first fiscal quarter. The first thing I noticed was a slightly upgraded office.

The last FPS that I was even remotely good at was Doom. I seem to recall that affair being a matter of moving, shooting monsters, picking up items, and making sure that your health and ammo meters never went to zero. Pretty simple. I like simple. By that standard, Corporate Warrior is a very complex game. Your health and ammo meters are unified, represented as a cash reserve; there are equity, marketshare, debt and luxury/thriftiness trade-off levels to worry about and, in some cases, manipulate in real time. And on top of all that, remember to keep an eye on the radar and select between up to 9 different weapons depending on the enemy you’re facing off with. Stock price is apparently is paramount importance in the game but I could not quite figure out what factors were supposed to affect it. Indeed, out of all the keyboard instructions listed above, the function of which I had the best comprehension was “strafe”.

But if you’re any aspiring CEO with a penchant for FPS games, I definitely encourage you to check this one out.