This is not a good game to play before breakfast — and I should know — Cheerios Play Time. Or maybe it’s the perfect game to play, I don’t know. I do know that I was starving while playing through this breakfast cereal-themed kids game. The MobyGames entry for this game lists this as an educational title. I’m hesitant to categorize it as such. It teaches a child how to pour cereal and milk into a bowl and that’s about the extent of the knowledge imparted.

This is the main activity selection menu for the game, highlighting the 5 activities to choose from. There is absolutely no text in the game save for “Cheerios” so the game chats incessantly at you, telling you what to do next. I tell you, this game treats me like I’m about 4 years old. Oh, wait…

One activity is the Cheerios factory. This is a magical journey through the cereal engineering process. The whole operation reminds me of one of those silly Bugs Bunny/Looney Toons wacky machine sequences. These two machines are responsible for lovingly sealing and efficiently painting cereal the box after the Cheerios have been mixed, formed, baked, and inserted. All very educational, as you can imagine. The interactivity pertains to clicking on levers to actuate the various machines.

Another activity is painting. You can choose between a bunch of the scenes from the game. Then you match items from the sidebar and choose a color to paint it. I guess you could claim that this item exercises shape-matching skills. And I always wanted a green cat.

The game won’t let me into the area where I can play with farm animals. Off limits. It locks up every time. Probably just as well. Another farm-related activity is tending to a field. First plow it, then plant it, water it and watch oats grow, then harvest and bundle the oats. But you’re not done yet. You have to transport the oats to the factory. But the truck is broken down, and filthy to boot. Wash the car, soap it up, dry it, inflate the tires, and use the crane to pack the oats on the truck bed.

The final activity places you in the kitchen. There’s no real goal here that I could find. Rather, you just interact with the scene by pouring cereal and milk into a bowl, toasting bread, squeezing oranges into fresh juice, peering in the silverware drawers, opening the fridge, turning on the faucet, and of course, poking at the cat to cause him to eat from his bowl.

Cheerios Play Time was developed by a now-defunct group called Hyperspace Cowgirls. Yeehaw, and far out. What I like best about this group is their logo animation which shall be preserved for all time thanks to YouTube: